Love as Jesus Loved

According to Psychological Egoism, every human action is motivated entirely by self-interest. Psychological Egoists say that behind every action that appears to be altruistic there is really a selfish motive. Even when we give to others it is almost always "giving to get." This "getting" may be money or a reciprocal present, but it is often with smug self-praise and a "what a good boy am I," sense of satisfaction. Usually we are unhappy when our gifts are totally unacknowledged or rejected. This also applies to gifts of service and helping others in charitable ways. The ego also promotes "giving to get" by making us feel guilty when we do not give to those around us, or to the needy whom scarcity or sickness has afflicted.

According to psychological egoism We only do what makes us FEEL GOOD. For instance, someone who helps needy children only does so because helping children makes them FEEL GOOD. You can imagine someone saying, "Helping others gives me such a deep sense of satisfaction." The egoist’s claim is that it is this satisfaction that makes people do altruistic things — NOT the fact that it makes OTHERS better off. Similarly, the only reason an egoist might refrain from lying, stealing, or killing is because doing so would make them FEEL BAD (e.g., because they will probably go to jail). If you promote the happiness of others ONLY because of the happiness it will bring you (or because of the suffering it will help you avoid), then you are not really motivated by love. You are motivated by selfishness. Today I am convinced that 99,99% of the good deeds that I've done in the past are motivated by selfishness. 

As long as we seek appreciation, acceptance and approval through our relationship with others, whether we realize it or not we will manipulate them to fulfill our emotional needs — we can not love them unconditionally. The truth is until we have found our identity in Christ, we will always try "using" others to fulfill our emotional needs. God command us to love one another, not to use one another. Jesus said by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)

Human love is different than God's love. Human love is very selfish in nature and conditional; But God's love is totally unselfish and unconditional, no expectations and no demands.True Love never gives to get and has no expectation or need to "get" anything. Why? Because when the Love of God has been poured out into your heart by the Holy Spirit, that Love flows through you in an endless stream of overflowing abundance, so much so, that the faster it is unconditionally given away the faster it flows through you from the only Source of Love — Who is God. 

Before the Pentecost, Peter tried to love Jesus with his human love but he failed. After receiving the Holy Spirit, however, Peter became a new person. He fearlessly obeyed the Lord even to being thrown into prison. Only through intimacy with the Holy Spirit can we love God and others. The loving nature of the Holy Spirit will enable us to love as Jesus loved. 

For us to share God's love most completely, our egos must die so that Christ can live in us and through us. We must die to our own self in order to truly love others. When our ego of need die, God's love can flow through us to bring life and healing to others.

1 Corinthians 13:3 "Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing."