Love, Sex & Intimacy

Givers are able to tap into special powers. We were made to be lovers. Lovers are givers not takers. Takers eventually end up supposing they need to change partners. They are parasites who take all they can and then have to move to another victim. They are worse than a zero. They are an empty space sucking the life out of everything around them. The sole value that takers have is that they still have the potential to be transformed into givers, if they let God have his beautiful way in their lives.
 — Grantley Morris

In the beginning, God created both maleness and femaleness as expressions of His likeness. We were created by God for love and intimate relationship. Love and Intimacy are our destiny. Our sexuality was made for intimacy to express the glory of God. In our fallen world, that glory has become ruined. Sin has damaged our sexuality and perfect intimacy is no longer possible. False intimacy has become a substitute for real intimacy. Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins — to restore our sexuality so we can use it to express the glory of God.

 It's not surprising that in a time of growing biblical illiteracy, so few people have any idea what God thinks and says about the extremely important subject of sex. The world holds the Christian view of sex in contempt, considering it prudish, naive and repressive. But the Bible elevates sexuality as God's gift to us that is both sacred and mysterious. The world's perspective degrades it to just something that feels good—another form of recreation or socialization. The world's sex-saturated brine includes the belief that sex is the ultimate pleasure. The message of much TV, movies, and music is that there is no greater pleasure available, and that it is the right of every individual, even teenagers, to have this pleasure.

If the purpose and goal of sex is primarily pleasure, then other people are just objects to be used for sensual gratification. Since people are infinitely valuable because God made us in His image, that is a slap in the face whether we realize it or not. I believe that the purpose of sex is relational, with pleasure as the by-product. The Bible teaches that sex welds two souls together. It is so powerful that it is only safe within a committed, covenant marriage relationship. God invented sex for His glory and our benefit. His basic rule — keep sex inside marriage — isn't meant to be a killjoy, but to protect our hearts and bodies and relationships and families. Intimacy comes only when one’s heart is focused on pleasing the other. 

I believe sex in any marriage that is not approved by God is adultery. Marriage is not just going to the priest and doing the ceremony. Marriage has to be according to Gods will for it to be horned by God. Real marriage before God is a marriage where there is true love. Once lust and intimate perversity gets into it, before God the marriage is annulled and becomes immoral. People should seek God before getting into marriage. They must make sure that the marriage is the will of God, so that harmony and peace will result from it. If we only put God first and not lust first we will definitely find true happiness.

It's easy to recognize real marriage before God. In such marriages the couple live for each other and even when they are too old to have sex the love and harmony continues. But any marriage that is held together by just sex is not real marriage, before God such marriage is adultery. Man cannot fool God!!!

I will give you an example:

A guy in Nigeria was filled with lust for a girl. After trying unsuccessfully to have sex with the girl, he went to the girls parents and declared that he wanted to marry the girl. Luckily for him, the girls pastor was an ex classmate of this guy. They were in cult together during their years in the university. The guy told the pastor(who became a pastor after graduating from the university) his intention of marring the girl and asked the pastor to go and tell the girls parents (who are members of his church) that it was Gods will that the guy should marry the girl.
To make a long story short, after the wedding and after a year of the guy getting as much sex as he wanted from the girl he kicked her out and they finally divorced.

Now my dear friends, please answer the following questions:
1.) Was this marriage real before God?
2.) The guy and the pastor succeeded in fooling the girl and her family. Did this guy and the pastor succeed in fooling God?
3.) During the time he was having sex with her, was he not committing adultery or fornication?

God did not only create us to crave intimacy with our spouses, He also created us to have just as strong a desire for intimacy with Him. And just as a human alone is only a part of the whole, people without God are only a part of what God intended them to be. The truth is you will never achieve intimacy with your mate to the level God intended if each of you doesn’t also strive for intimacy with Him. If you try to develop marital intimacy without intimacy with God, you will shortchange yourself and your mate. 

The marks of mature believers are Love, peace, patience and compassion. The marks of carnal believers are Lust, hatred, judgement and jealousy. Love is eternal where lust is temporary. Lust is lust even in marriage, it is wrong and ungodly. There is a difference between a healthy desire for sex and lust. If you're truly in 'love', you will know that the last thing you want to do to the woman you love is to think about her with lust. What most people today call love is only infatuation which is a glorified name for lust! Real love is entirely different !!!

Stop Expecting Others To Make You Whole

Many of our needs that feel like a craving for human companionship are actually yearnings that can only be satisfied by intimacy with God. 
— Grantley Morris   

One of the most famous actresses, Marilyn Monroe, committed suicide, and psychoanalysts have been brooding on the reason why. She was one of the most beautiful women ever, one of the most successful. She had everything to live for; you cannot conceive of more fame, more success, more charisma, more beauty, more health. Everything was there, nothing could be improved upon, and still something was lacking. The inside, the within, was empty. Then, suicide is the only way.

There's a reason you feel like something is missing in your life. People who seemingly have everything can still feel empty inside. Unless you have something inside you which is not dependent on anything outside, unless you have intimacy with God, no matter how much you achieve, you will still feel empty. There is a big God-shaped hole in the middle of your heart that can be satisfied only by God. In human relationships one of the major mistakes we make is of handing over our heart to loved ones and expecting them to take over God’s job. 

Stop expecting others to make you whole. No human being has the capacity to offer you what is needed for true value and self worth. That can only come from within. Marriage is not the cure for your emotional wounds and loneliness. It’s impossible to heal your own emotional brokenness through the body of another person as mortal and broken as you are. Only God's love can heal and make you whole.  True security comes from our relationship with God, and whatever praises and encouragement we receive outside of that are simply overflow.  Stop trying to fill your emptiness from the outside. Let God's love fill you from the inside. 

God is the only thing, the only Person we really do need. He made us to need, to appreciate, to worship and to enjoy Him. Apart from Him, there is no real fulfillment, no true joy, no lasting peace. The abundant Christ-Life, strength and health are being built up within you. God within you is mighty to quicken, heal, vitalize, and renew; and to make you entirely whole. God lives in you and will become manifest through you.

God is so real to me. A closeness I can feel, a goodness I can taste and a reality I can experience. Although many people think that God is far away from them but the truth is He is very near indeed with his merciful grace. God is closer than you think. Intimacy with God can happen if you want it. 

The truth in our mind is so powerful that we can affect how we feel by what we think or believe. Our mind must be renewed to the truth before the truth can set us free. When God's light comes, welcome it. It may be painful or difficult to believe with your normal conscious mind, but if it is the truth you will recognize it and realize that it is something that you need to know.

Like a surgeon that must cut his patient in order to heal his body, the truth must hurt us in order to heal us. Truth is like surgery, it hurts but it heals. Trust the light. Say yes to it. It will then begin to heal you. It will show you new possibilities for your life. It will show you the way through. However bad the news seems to be at first, accept it and let its truth pervade your whole being.

His light will lead you out of darkness into the light of life, into the way of peace and into the life and power of truth. As soon as you accept what is being revealed to you by the Holy Spirit, you will begin to feel different. Even bad news will seem strangely good. Accepting the truth is like making peace. An inner conflict is being resolved. This is the beginning of changes that the light may bring about. 

Life change comes from a mind renewed by the truth of God's Word. Knowing God's love, renewing our mind with His truth, and identifying as a son or daughter are key to a transformed life.  And remember, it is only when you no longer compulsively need someone to make you whole that you can have a real relationship with them.

No One Can Complete You

Whenever we enter into sexual intercourse with selfish motives, we are even more alone than we were before. The loneliness increases our appetite for the union, which is usually translated into a need for more sexual intercourse. Lust is a self-perpetuating cycle that becomes more intense as it continues.
~ Rick Joyner 

There are some men and women who have been very lonely because lack of gentle love from the time they were little child. This inner emptiness was the result of having parents who had difficulty in being physically affectionate or in communicating their love. In adult life, a person with such a wound may mistakenly think that their loneliness is solely the result of not having an affectionate woman or man at their side.

About 25 years a go, I asked God to set me free from depression and loneliness. God had answered the prayers of an abandoned and rejected boy so many years ago, and gave him a new life. God has demonstrated His grace and revealed His power to me. I’ve known and tasted the goodness of my Lord, and to Him I am forever grateful. 

There are certain times when I just feel a depth of loneliness that’s hard to describe. I know we all feel this way sometimes. When I have those horribly lonely times of heart, I do quickly run to God in my spirit. And he is so refreshing. Cleansing tears envelope my being as I pour my heart out to him who knows me so well.
 
When you’re lonely, sad or depressed, you can draw close to God and he is sure to draw close to you. Only the Savior can truly help us with our spiritual ills — the soul sickness everyone gets. This Jesus-balm is ever-healing and ever-renewing.

I was born again about 22 years a go. My journey begins as I seek to know God intimately after losing my job in 1998. While on this journey, God begins to work in the deep recesses of my heart, removing hidden areas of shame, fear, and bitterness. As the veils were removed from my heart I became purified spiritually, physically, and emotionally. As I allowed Holy Spirit to cleanse my heart I was able to draw closer to God but I experienced great pain along the journey. 

While climbing the mountain of intimacy, I discovered the transforming power of the love of God, the Father. During the purification process, my passion for Jesus deeply intensified as I encountered the heart and emotions of God. God’s love can sustain me through anything this world can bring. God’s loving presence is my greatest joy. 

The further up the mountain I traveled, the fewer companions I had. There was a time when all things seemed to drop behind and I found myself alone. When I finally arrived on the top, the loneliness was gone for I saw things very differently. I saw all my former companions and possessions as they really are with no illusions, no regrets, and no attachments. In this rare air of God's Love, my heart's filled with peace and joy. I see things as He sees them because the breath of His Spirit fills my soul to overflowing. 

I've been through a long painful journey, searching for God's love to complete my being. Now I've found the light of His love, I am complete and able to find happiness and contentment. He touched my heart, my mind, and my inner being. He filled my empty soul. Without Him, I am empty, unable to function or find meaning in my day-to-day existence. Together we are one, a perfect union that can face insurmountable odds and face the uncertainty that the future holds. Fear of the future diminishes in the light of His presence and I truly believe I can face any obstacle if He is by my side. 

According to Robert Weis, one of the founding researchers on loneliness, all of us need a special person in our lives, someone who gives us a sense of security or reassurance that we can face the world once again. How often do you believe that if you just found that right person, entered that right relationship, your loneliness would be abated and you will live happily ever after?  

Many people look for a soul mate and think that this soul mate will complete them. Sadly, this is really not the purpose of a soul mate. No one can complete you, ever. No one can fill you up or give you what you need or provide you with the "missing piece". No one can do this, except God. 

We empty ourselves of all things of the world – not because the world is bad or sinful but because we want to be completely filled with him. God knows your true identity – the one that is whole and complete, the hidden most part of your heart and soul. You are uniquely and marvelously made children of God.

 

The Bliss Of Divine Love

"Whenever we open our hearts to God, we receive spiritual nourishment and grow more and more into the likeness of God until we reach spiritual maturity. And once we open our spiritual eyes and see God’s presence, we find indescribable and unending bliss." 
— Sadhu Sundar Singh

First of all, I must admit I love the word "bliss". Bliss is a state of mind in which we know that we will be okay, and are more relaxed and confident in daily life due to that knowledge. It implies a flood of emotions and overwhelming well-being and it also seems to lean in a spiritual direction toward the supernatural. By contrast, say all the Christian mystics, life in the presence of God is not only full of light, but supreme joy and bliss. Teresa of Avila tells us that union with God is above all earthly joys, above all delights, above all consolations, and still more than that . John Ruusbroek says that in meeting the light, the heart experiences so much delight that it cannot contain itself but bursts out in a cry of joy. Thomas Merton, a 20th century mystic, says that "Our joy in the bosom of the serene darkness in which His light holds us absorbed. This joy of emptiness, of nothingness, is the true light that shines in everyone. It is the light of Christ."

As humans, we search for joy in all the wrong places. And what we receive is just a sporadic sampling, a fraction of the real deal, a clever counterfeit to genuine joy. We look outside, not inside. We get our delight in filling the needs of our hearts with money, power, position, fame, romance, sex, entertainment, food, sport, vacation or whatever makes us feel good. Bill Gaultiere says that we look to food to meet our needs and it becomes more and more important to us until it becomes compulsive. In that sense it becomes an idol, a false god. We can do the same thing with alcohol, drugs, sex, work, co-dependent relationships, shopping, even religion. 

But the secret to a joy-filled life is so close, so obvious, that inside is often the last place we look. Spiritual Joy or bliss must not be confused with the pleasures and joys of another nature. It possesses characteristics which enable us to distinguish it easily and surely. Spiritual Joy, above all, is permeated with peace. As the Westminster Confession has so aptly stated "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever", communion with God in this life and the next gives us conscious enjoyment of Him, of His glory and His bliss. 

While I was praying this morning, I felt the pure and untainted bliss in the presence of the Lord. I felt the holy presence of the Lord in my prayer room. I have tasted His goodness and glory. It's so beautiful. About 5 months a go, while I was worshiping the Lord, I was anointed to my bones. When the anointing has settled into your bones, you become one of the happiest person on this planet. When God’s Spirit finally embraces my spirit it always impacts me profoundly. Sometimes I am flooded with emotion and sometimes it is more of a mental amazement but it is always Bliss. 

When I look back on my life, I realize that it was when I hung on to God’s word and His promises through the darkest hours that I saw the most beautiful sunrises. So many nights of frustration turned into peace, joy and contentment. When your heart is set on joy, no one can take it away from you unless you allow it. If man can't take your joy, neither can the devil. You have the ability to feel good, no matter what is happening. And once you open your spiritual eyes and see God’s presence, you find indescribable and unending bliss.

Learn To Accept Instead Of Expect

"You must utterly believe that the circumstances of your life, that is, every minute of your life, as well as the whole course of your life — anything, yes, everything that happens — have all come to you by His will and by His permission. You must utterly believe that everything that has happened to you is from God and is exactly what you need."
— Madame Jeanne Guyon

One of the hardest thing to do in life is to learn how to accept people for who they are. You must accept that you can't change others. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger others to want to make changes. The truth is you can't change the other person's behavior, but you can change your own. And when you change, everything will change. The truth is only God can change human's heart and if you can't accept yourself, you can't accept others.

There’s just a point in your life where you just have to accept that not everything you wished or hoped for will come true. A time when you just have to gather up the courage to let it go and entrust everything to God, knowing He won’t allow you to be in situations of pain for the sake of "hurting" — but for the sake of "learning". One day, you will truly understand that God knows you more than you know yourselves and He loves you more than you can ever know. That even when you feel alone and misunderstood, and even sometimes unloved and used, there’s that One person who knows all your flaws yet loves you unconditionally, like no man can. He loves you, not because of what you do — He loves you for who you are. 

In our immature and sick society, love has become, "If you don't love me and give me what I want, I'll hate you, and you'll pay!" It is love under the threat of abandonment, which is, in the final analysis, not love at all. It is conditional love. It's using love as a weapon and using our withdrawal, our withholding of love, as a selfish means of control. When we find love from God, we find pure, unconditional, indestructible, eternal love. As we find God's love and become accepting and whole within Him, I believe we will find that our relationships will be about each person's growth toward their unique potentials as individuals and as a team.   

To live in humility is to live always in total confidence of God’s love and acceptance and therefore you have no concern for yourself when others insult you or praise you. Since you are secure in God’s love, you don’t have to base your identity on whether or not others acknowledge you. There is no fear of rejection for those who have complete security in God's love and acceptance — they can express themselves fearlessly.

When you learn to accept instead of expect, you’ll surely avoid getting hurt and you'll have fewer disappointments. You have to accept reality instead of fighting it.  Don’t let what you expected to happen blind you from all the good things that are happening.  When you stop expecting people and things to be perfectly the way you had imagined, you can enjoy them for who and what they truly are. 

You don't need to seek acceptance, approval, appreciation, and love from people. You are fully accepted, appreciated, approved and loved by God. He will always love you and he will always accept you. If you really believe that God is in complete control of all your circumstances, you would accept life as it comes to you without complaining. And when you reach the place where you are willing to do or accept God's will whatever the cost — all His strength is yours.

God Uses Broken People

"Because, the Lord uses broken things. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever." — Vance Havne. 

My greatest desire would be to bear fruit for my Master in His will. I believe that is the cry of every tree planted by the Master, to bear fruit, much fruit for the Master. Yet even out of the bearing much fruit comes crushing blows that sometimes threaten to shake our very foundation of faith in God’s love for us. God will never plant the seed of his life upon the soil of a hard, unbroken spirit. He will only plant that seed where the conviction of His Spirit has brought brokenness, where the soil has been watered with the tears of repentance as well as the tears of joy. 

In life, when you are really brokenhearted, when you feel that life can't go on and that your world has to come to an end; when you feel hopeless, helpless, lonely, bitter, hatred and when you feel that there is no peace, no love, that is the moment — Jesus will step out of heaven and comes to meet you personally and your life will never be the same again. 

Throughout the last decade I have seen and experienced Gods gentle hand and love transformed and restored to me. A significant brokenness pattern in my life happened between the years 1998-2012. I think that much of my spiritual work of the last 13 years has been addressing this time in my life. I crashed spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and relationally. It is so painful — there are times when I stand at the door of decisions where I flinch for a second and come up with questions like, "Why Lord? Why this? Why me? How could you?"

Because of my broken road, I have found love and compassion, I have found empathy and I have found beauty that is so stunning that, at times, it nearly breaks my heart. And along the path strewn with shards of brokenness, I have found others, stumbling along trying to find their way. And through discouragement, faith and determination, I was encouraged. We are all, in one way or another, broken and simply knowing that makes me feel less alone. 

God is close to those that are hurting. God is close to the brokenhearted. God is able to heal the most painful wounds, and also to give comfort, hope and joy under the heaviest sorrow. No matter how broken you are, no matter how sick you are, I believe God can heal you, because He has healed me. I know that you too can experience God's healing love. 

Our God is a God of restoration. No matter what the situation, no matter what the problem, God can fix what is broke within you. If you believe, God can make something beautiful out of every broken place in your life. I have discovered that  the most beautiful life is often the most broken life. No matter how stressed, broken, or shattered you think you are, there is always hope. God can bring restoration to any situation. He can mend broken hearts and heal every wound. Your future is in the hands of God.  

But we need to be obedient and surrender ourselves to God. When we choose to surrender ourselves to God, we give Him power over us, which is a choice that can lead us into healing and restoration. The whole heart must be yielded to God, or the change can never be brought in us by which we are to be restored to His likeness. 

Life is hard but we serve a good God who is bigger than our problems. When you go through the preparation process and wait on God's timing, you will endure some pains. And remember when you are crushed and broken, you will exude a sweet fragrance of the anointing. Unless the outer box is broken, there can be no fragrance. God’s desire has always been that you would awaken to His love and power, that your broken hearts would find all that you need in Him. There will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow and no more holes to fill in an empty heart — for all our hearts will be filled with God's love.

One of the reasons God intended for us to exist in community is so that we never have to journey alone. We are united in our cause and calling, bound by our shared brokenness and the common grace we are given and melded together by God’s mission for us all. We are joined together by our suffering and pain and united in our joy and victory.